Misperceptions, mistranslations and misinterpretations

Phew!  All this hard sell, I think I need a break from it, this time round.  So here's the result of a bit of fun I had last week.  There's a sort of a connection with Wilful Misunderstandings.  I went to a workshop run by Dorset poet David Caddy and it was about the idea of what you can get as a writer from re-interpreting things, including deliberate misinterpretations.  I'm not going to purloin all David's ideas and re-present them for you here (hey, check him out, he's on the web), but suffice to say that he was presenting the imaginative possibilities of mis-perceptions and mis-translations, translation as re-invention, that sort of thing.

As is the way of these events, those of us attending all had a go at seeing what we could do creatively with this idea.  Some great stuff came out of it and I thoroughly enjoyed listening to everyone's contributions.  As for me, I was looking round for something to 'mistranslate'.  We meet in a very nice pub in a Dorset village, and on the wall across from me was a blackboard with the 'Today's Specials' menu - which I could only partially see.  Unbeknown to either of us, the participant sitting next to me was also using this menu as a start point. She came up with something that could definitely be said to be poetry.  I'm not sure I did - I got a bit carried away with the humorous possibilities, I think.  So, here you go, tidied up and revised for a bit more consistency, this is what I did.

Today’s Specialists:

1. Addled Imperialist
With chips off old blocks, peas in our time and badgered broccoli.

2. Hard Boiled Agent
Set in a succulent garnish of polonium, with treachery tarts and diced disinformation.

3. Sweet and Sour Celebrities
Banter basted in a slick trivia sauce and topped with spicy innuendos.

4. Mackled Minister
Stuffed with a fat wad of dough and civilly served with shredded documents.

5. Braised Pundit
Tossed off in tasteful tautologies and lightly layered in a filigree of fine leaves.

6. Curried Migrants
With single grain rice.



Our Chef Commends:

1. Royal Mint Pie
Quantitatively eased onto a bed of raised salaries, gilt investments and dire warnings.

2. Cod Almighty
Richy coated with an intolerant sauce, vengefully spiced and served by billions.


And don’t go without trying our

Post Nuclear Desserts:

1. Baked Alaska
2. Molten Lava Cake
3. Death By Chocolate
4. Spotted Dick
5. Glazed Madeleines
6. Crumble


But I'm really gonna be pushing my book down your throats next time, for sure.  Well, maybe.

Toodle pip.